MY AFFAIR WITH "MY HUSBAND'S LOVER"

My (Lally) Husband’s (Vincent) Lover (Eric)

Indeed, the title alone depicts the unconventional love triangle among the three main characters in this popular drama.  My Husband's Lover directly tackles two social taboos: homosexuality and infidelity. Not surprisingly, this caused a major brouhaha among the conservatives in Philippine society since its airing.

It was hailed as the first gay-themed soap opera on Philippine television. Because of the novelty of its theme and the uproar it caused, I naturally got interested and watched snippets of some of its episodes.  Like most curious Pinoys, I stayed up late to see for myself what all of the commotion is all about. But unlike some social conservatives, I do not want to judge something based on ignorance.

The series had its premiere on June 10 and ended last October 18. I caught the latter part of the series and found it predictable and unexpected at the same time. Though the theme is unconventional (Pinoy homosexual relationships is not a regular topic for local dramas anyway), the plot is quite foreseeable (as most local soap operas are), but the storytelling has its few surprising moments (with the drama’s conclusion giving Filipinos some space to imagine possible future scenarios in the lives of its main characters).

taken from http://www.gmanetwork.com/

It is indeed a rare opportunity to watch a drama with homosexuality as the main theme of the story. For a long time, Philippine entertainment media has mostly portrayed gay men as noisy and flamboyant meant to shock and amuse people, with their boisterous attitude and colorful language. The show however, painted different varieties of gay men that we may not be aware of.    

Gay Number 1: A closeted gay who lives with his wife and family while having an affair with his gay lover.

Gay Number 2: A very smart, sophisticated and openly gay who is very successful in his profession

Gay Number 3: A proud gay who wants to be a father and eventually adopted a baby.

Gay Number 4: An “all-out” gay who is very witty and has a very charming personality but constantly experiencing bad lucks in his relationship.

Gay Number 5: A very feminine gay who not only dresses like a woman, but plays the role of the loving daughter and a caring sister to everyone,

If there is one thing that I appreciate in this show, it is that the writer and director have truly made a lot of research in their efforts to depict realistic portrayals of gay men. These gay men were not the stereotypical portrayals serving as comic reliefs or side-kicks in other dramas. They were instead presented as the main characters living normal lives who love, laugh, sin, and cry.

I have to agree with the show’s disclaimer that it is not promoting gay or even lesbian relationships, but is more like a reflection of the proliferation of gay relationships that is happening now.  And for that, I have to commend GMA and the creators and producers of the show for trusting the intelligence and open-mindedness of a growing segment of the Filipino audience.

The show has just ended, but based on its success and audience acceptance, I know that this will be a good start for Philippine television to create more intelligent and innovative real-life dramas.

MY PUBLIC SCHOOL EXPERIENCE

Last month, I had a wonderful opportunity to teach in a public school courtesy of a cousin who is a proud fellow of Teach for the Philippines. I actually wanted to show my support for his advocacy, not just through Facebook messages, but by personally visiting him in his school and see how he was doing. He suggested that, to make use of my visit, I should talk about my work to his Grade 3 students. He thought that I could serve as a “role model” to them, inspire them to study hard, and entice them to consider going into my chosen career when they grow up.   

I had my talk in two of his classes. The first class was very rowdy and noisy. The second class was very smart and well-behaved.  I learned that the latter group of kids belongs to the top section and they are very much motivated to study. I asked why the school has to separate the brainy kids from the naughty ones and my cousin explained that if you mix them together, the naughty ones usually influence and pulls down the brainy ones. 

While I was there, the familiar problems of public elementary schools glared straight at my face: 

1. overpopulated students in one classroom;

2. dilapidated tables and chairs;

3. lack of books and other learning materials;

3. school children without uniforms and ‘baon’;

4. stinky toilet facilities with no water;

5. grouchy and unmotivated teachers (some of them) who are underpaid.  

After talking (or more like yelling) and sweating the whole morning in front of the kids, I talked to my cousin and learned a lot from his work. That day, I realized that:

1. Some students do not have the basic literacy (reading, writing, even arithmetic skills) that they are expected to have especially when they reach grade 3. Majority of them quit school to start working. Others just go undetected by their teachers who usually give their students passing marks so that they won’t have to teach them again.  

2. Most of these students go to school hungry and smelly. They do not have food to eat or money to buy snacks. Some of them go to school without taking a bath or brushing their teeth. Their conditions make it hard for them to concentrate on their studies.   

3. Strong parental support is critical in a child’s education. All of the kids in the school are poor, but in the two classes where I taught, the brainy ones are encouraged by their parents to study, while the naughty ones do not get as much support from their parents.

4. Parent education is also essential to promote the value of learning. Most of the students’ parents are illiterate or uneducated. While some of them want their children to end their family’s cycle of ignorance, others do not care about the importance of education in their children’s future.

These are just some of my bitter realizations about the state of public elementary school in this country. While I am quite disheartened, I am also hopeful. This short exposure all the more caused me to appreciate the advocacy of Teach for the Philippines and the commitment of their teacher fellows. I have to salute them for their dedication to teach, despite the dire situation they have to bravely face every day for the next two years of their lives.

I would really encourage young people to join similar endeavors like Teach for the Philippines. Similar to military service or any voluntary work, this experience will definitely give them an opportunity to contribute to national development. Contrary to common perceptions, two years with Teach for the Philippines is not a waste of time. It can actually be a good foundation to hone one’s leadership qualities and develop one’s work ethics. It can also be a good source of learning experience on character building and yes, even stress management. For fresh college graduates, this will be a good preparation for any career endeavors they wish to pursue. It will certainly give them the right perspective and strong motivation to make a positive difference.

Though it was only for a day, my TFP experience was indeed memorable. My cousin asked me if I could serve as a role model to his kids, but I honestly believe that HE is the role model these kids should strive to be. I may be older and have accomplished more, but he is definitely one of the few who I consider my Role Model. 

HAIL TO THE TEACHERS!

In celebration of the National Teacher’s Month (September 5-October 5), I wish to belated greet my teachers who have inspired me to follow in their footsteps as I recently became a teacher myself.  My recent discovery of the fulfillment and sacrifices teachers experience gave me more respect for their chosen vocation.  

Most of the time teachers are overlooked. And most folks do not find a career in teaching as prestigious and lucrative as other professions. Ask any young people what they want to be when they grow up and they would almost always say “doctor, nurse, engineer, architect, or lawyer.” Teachers are almost always taken for granted, despite their great influence in the community. So it is no wonder that, out of all the professions in this world, teachers are given their own recognition day (UNESCO declares October 5 as World Teacher’s Day), which they so much deserve.

From teachforthephilippines.org

Despite the low interest in teaching as a profession, one local organization is encouraging Filipinos to teach. Teach for the Philippines aims to address the perennial problem of teacher shortages in public schools by recruiting college graduates and young professionals to teach. It also seeks to end education inequity in this country, striving to narrow the disparity in the quality of education between private and public schools by creating opportunities for the best and the brightest people to share their knowledge to underprivileged kids. 

While access to education is a universal right, it should be complemented with good quality education. Unfortunately in this country, quality education comes with a high price tag. But public school children, though enjoying free education, also deserve to have quality learning.  This advocacy for quality education does not necessarily depend on large amount of money (though financial resources are also critical). It only takes a community of dedicated and committed individuals to serve as teachers who can make this vision a reality. And Teach for the Philippines proves just that.

 

Aside from my own teachers, I salute the passion and sacrifices of the fellows from Teach for the Philippines. There are around 50 of them currently teaching in high-need public schools in Metro Manila and they are committed to teach for the next two years. These fellows are not just idealistic and impassioned teachers but they are equipped to be transformational teachers who will serve as mentors to underprivileged elementary school kids. 

It is comforting to know that there are young fellows who are committed to invest in education and contribute to nation building. Having been educated themselves, they are now 'paying it forward' and sharing with the kids the opportunity to learn and most importantly, to dream.. I am confident that these young people and the younger ones they will greatly influence, will create positive changes to the future of our nation.  

Indeed, there is hope in this country after all…

WHAT'S IN THE NAME?

            “Pinoy” is a popular local term referring to Filipinos living in the Philippines and overseas. “Platform” is a means or opportunity for public expression of opinions.

            It took me a long while to come up with this name. I struggled to think of something unique and simple that would essentially encapsulate the theme of this blog. I ended up with this title hoping to give this blog a clear identity and to set it apart from the rest.

           

            This is a venue for ideas and commentaries regarding anything about the Philippines. It can reflect the good and the bad, the past and the present, the gloom and the hope. It can both be familiar and unusual, sympathetic and critical.  It seeks to be informative, relevant, and thought-provoking. It caters to all the Pinoys living in the country and abroad, the Pinoys mixed with other race, the Pinoy watchers belonging to other nationalities, and anyone who considers themselves 'Pinoy at heart.'

            As a Filipino, allow me to share with you my love/hate relationship with the Philippines. I believe that there are so many proud moments and embarrassing instances that make this country unique and sometimes downright eccentric. Either way, this warrants a kind of platform to discuss anything Pinoy!

            I hope that you will join me in my quest to (re)discover and uphold this constant fascination about the Philippines.  Happy reading!